The European community will soon be releasing its own currency. We had high hopes for this, because individual European countries had managed to come out with cool money names like "Kroner." However those hopes were dashed as we found out that the new monetary unit will be called the "Euro." I think we speak for people on both sides of the Atlantic when we say that there's no way we're going to spend money that sounds like the name of a sporty but economical mid-size coupe.

However, we recognize the need for a currency that goes beyond national boundaries. We need to find a world standard, something desirable and useful to all people, from third-world ungulate herders to bespectacled software moguls. We think that if you take a second to ponder you'll see the perfect world currency, just as we did:

Insulated beer can holders.

Now that that's settled, we need only pick a symbol and establish an exchange rate. Using a perfectly random and arbitrary selection method, we'll pick "ö" for the symbol. And as for the exchange rate, we've got a calculator below, designed to take worldwide social and economic factors into account and tell you how many insulated beer can holders you can expect to get for your dollar, franc, pound, peso, or yen.