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We are shocked and surprised to learn that there are people downloading MP3 files of "The Björk Song" over Napster, treating our music as a commodity rather than as the dumb song about a more-talented musician that it is. We wish to see these people treated as they deserve, which is why we are going to collect the names of Napster users who are distributing our material, present the list to Napster, and demand that they be given candy. Of course, we don't necessarily trust that justice will be done, which is why we're going to be taking matters into our own hands. From June 1st to June 30th, we will be intermittently collecting the names of people with "The Björk Song" in their sharable music files. At the end of this period, we will choose one user randomly from this list and present this winner with a $100 gift certificate to CDNow, a Brunching Shuttlecocks T-Shirt, and of course some candy. We know that by doing this we risk being labeled "generous," "thoughtful," even "philanthropic." But those are the risks we're willing to take to protect our interest in having our song on every hard drive on the planet. Okay, here are all the little details for those who are interested: starting July 1, we'll be attempting to locate the person we've selected from our list. If we see the person on, we'll download the song to make sure they actually have it, and if they do we'll send a message telling them they've won and asking them to mail us. (Please note, we will not be asking for an e-mail address over Napster's message system directly. We will have the winner mail us and then reply. So if someone randomly asks for your e-mail address, it ain't us.) If the person does not still have the song available for download, or if after several days we're not able to locate them online, then we'll pick another name and try again, and so on until we find our winner. If something goes awry with this process, such as Napster being shut down, we'll pick a different way to award the prize. No matter what happens, we'll be giving away one and only one first prize, consisting of a gift certificate, a t-shirt, and some candy. Harsh measures, I'm sure you'll agree. We can only hope that history will vindicate us. |
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