The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features

Rule #1: Don't talk about Fight Club.

Rule #2: Don't talk about Fight Club. (See Rule #1)

Fight Club is filled with truly deranged ideas and disturbing thoughts. Here's your basic story: Brad Pitt and Edward Norton decide to start beating each other up. It's fun. Other guys soon want to join in, and they create a sub-culture of happy, battered men who spend all of their free time punching each other silly.

Think WWF without as much rehearsal.

Rule #3: We're not kidding, no talking about Fight Club. We mean it.

There's been a lot of talk about if these Fight Clubs actually exist. (They don't, the author of the book made them up.) Also, there's been a lot of talk that stupid, impressionable youths may decide to start these clubs themselves. (It's possible. Stupid, impressionable youths do lots of dumb things. Remember the Flock of Seagulls haircut?)

Rule #4: Hey! Were you just talking about Fight Club? Knock it off!

The question is, what would happen if people really did start these fight clubs, and really did engage in a very violent pastime? Well, all the really dumb, overly violent thugs would beat each other up until they became brainless husks of men.

What's so wrong with that? I mean it's not like they'd be able to keep their activities a big secret.

"Hey Bob, that's an incredible black eye you've got there. And why are you limping?"

"Uhm... I fell down some stairs."

"The same stairs you fell down last week when you broke your wrist and lost those three teeth?"

"Uhm.. no. Different stairs."

In fact, I say we should go on and encourage our psychotics to smash each other silly. They have aggression, they want to fight somebody, let them fight each other, and the rest of us can walk safer at night. We should hand out leaflets. Next time a big thug approaches you menacingly, you could tell him "Hey, not me. There's a Fight Club just down the block, in the basement of the Gas N' Slurp." And he'd politely thank you and run off to join in the legal carnage.

We may be on to something here.

Rule #5: OK, I guess you can talk about Fight Club... No! Wrong! No talking! None!

Anyway, about the movie. It's really cool, and not just because a bunch of guys take turns pummeling each other into submission. The director is the same guy who directed Seven. (or Se7en, as I think it's officially called.) He does some really, truly trippy things with this movie.

Edward Norton plays the narrator, talking to the camera at different times and being our window into this Violent Femmes-inspired nightmare. In fact, that's his character's actual name, Narrator. We never learn his name, not really anyway, and it's not important. He's just the guy telling the story. And he's real good.

Brad Pitt plays Tyler Durden, Norton's buddy who leads him into this twisted world. I will say this for Mr. Pitt. He's a good actor when he's not trying to fake an accent. And he's especially good when he gets to play a complete loon. Also on hand is period piece Goddess Helena Bohnam Carter, who proves that she's just a sexy out of a corset as she is in one.

Rule #6: Getting tired of this aren't you? Yeah me too. Go ahead and talk about Fight Club.

Oh, and Meatloaf (Actually, he's officially Meat Loaf. Like Loaf is his surname and Meat his given birth name. Whatever.) plays a guy with huge tits. Gotta love that.

Rule #7: Ha! Got you! No talking about Fight Club! None! Don't make me come over there!

Basically, this is a really good movie, as long as you realize that it's a movie, not an open invitation to model your life after the characters. Again, do not try to do what these guys do. They are trained professionals. They're also acting. The blood's fake and the sounds of bone crushing against concrete are made by foley artists. If you were to do some of the things depicted in this movie, you'd be a complete idiot, and you'd quite possibly die. We'd nominate you for a Darwin award. (Given posthumously to total idiots who remove themselves from the gene pool.)

Rule #8: You talk about Fight Club one more time, I'm gonna kick yer ass!

So anyway, I'm giving Fight Club 4 1/3 Babylons. It probably deserves more, but I'm confused by all the rules.

Editor's Note:

Rule #1 For The SMC: Don't talk about movies.

Fight Club
Rated: R
Directed By: David Fincher
Starring: Brad Pitt, Edward Norton, Helena Bonham Carter, Meat Loaf and ketchup.

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