Write an introspective semi-autobiographical novella and have it published under a small, quality imprint, then go to a local book-signing and make a short, well-received speech about the craft of writing.

Attend a series of classes at a community college and receive an Associate Degree in International Studies.

Commit a stunning series of daring daylight bank robberies that have law enforcement officials baffled.

Create a serum that periodically unleashes the base, bestial aspects of your personality. Pursue an ironic double-life.

Perform a near-impossible feat with such nobility and singleness of purpose that the gods permit you to ascend to their ranks. Ask to be the God of the Epiglottis, then cure yourself.