"N64? PS2? Those aren't video games! Now Pong! There was a video game!"

"Junior High kids having sex? In my day, you waited until you were at least 15!"

"Nine Days? 3 Doors Down? Train? Those are words, not band names! No style, no imagination! Oingo Boingo! Duran Duran! Wang Chung! Those are proper rock band names!"

"Razor scooters? It's a skateboard with a damn handle! Sissies!"