The Brunching Shuttlecocks Ratings


State Quarters, Part 2

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Virginia
This coin features three boats: "Godspeed," "Discovery," and "Susan Constant." I think it's about time boats named Susan got the recognition they deserve. Now if we can just get a quarter with a ficus tree named Randolph on it, justice will be served. A

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New Hampshire
Enshrined on this disturbing piece of hard currency is "The Old Man of the Mountain," a monument which for all I know may be awe-inspiring in real life, but which on the back of a quarter looks like lung disease. Although, really, even if it did look like an old man, that's only on the novelty gourd level of impressive sights. D

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South Carolina
A veritable cheat-sheet of state symbols, the South Carolina coin has packed the state tree, the state flower, the state bird perching on the state flower, the state nickname which is a reference to the state tree, an outline of the state, and a star on the outline of the state showing the state capital, all on a small metal disk you can stick in your pocket and use to buy Home Run Pies. If you could fit an extended argument over the confederate flag on it, it would truly have all things South Carolinian. C

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Maryland
The centerpiece of this design is the dome of the Maryland Statehouse which, I hate to break it to Marylanders, pretty much looks like every other government dome in the country. I'm told it's wooden and made without nails, but that's not something you can tell on a quarter, anyway. It's like putting the world's largest ball of twine on a quarter; in miniature bas-relief, it's just a picture of a ball of twine. C-

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Massachusetts
The Massachusetts coin also has an outline of the state on it. I could see Texas doing this, they put the state on everything from gravestones to Jell-O molds, but Massachusetts has too many islandy bits to be a Jell-O mold. Anyhow, there's also a picture of a minuteman statue, which makes for an interesting question: is it a picture of a minuteman statue, or a picture of a minuteman who just happens to be in the same pose and outfit as the statue? Or maybe the statue is a statue of the minuteman on the quarter, done a few years earlier? Not the sort of question you want to be contemplating while making change at a tollbooth, but interesting nonetheless. B-

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