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Summertime Watermelon Sherbet

1/2 medium watermelon
2 cups sugar
1-1/2 teaspoons lemon juice
1 cup light cream

Measure out sugar, realize you only have 1-1/2 cups. Briefly consider opening a bunch of Equal packets to round it out. Instead, make mental note to buy sugar next time you're out. Forget. Keep remembering when you see the watermelon in the fridge, then forgetting when you go out. Decide after a few days just to eat the watermelon before it goes bad. Eat a few slices over the next two days, get tired of it, then throw the remainder out after it gets squooshy around the seeds. Allow cream to spoil.

Salsa Fresca

4 medium tomatoes
1 teaspoon garlic
1 red onion
1 tablespooon white vinegar
1 tomatillo
1 bunch fresh cilantro
1/4 teaspoon salt

Go to store. Stare at pathetic-looking orangish-pink tomatoes. Wonder if this is even going to be worth it. Try and figure out which is the cilantro and which is the Italian parsely. Curse the store for putting the little signs above the herb bins instead of putting them on each individual bin. Try to figure out whether white wine vinegar, which is on sale, is the same as white vinegar, which they're out of. Abandon cart in aisle. Pick up pre-packaged salsa. Pay. Leave.

Omelet Florentine

4 eggs
2 tablespoons butter
3/4 cup cleaned, chopped spinach leaves
1/4 cup romano, grated
1/4 cup mozzarella, grated
1/4 cup feta, crumbled

Wake up late on a Saturday. Realize you need to get to the post office before it closes. Make scrambled eggs instead.

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