For years I've been spending quality time with myself.

I've beaten myself at chess, lost to myself at chess, won and lost money to myself through poker, and had entire conversations and arguments with myself.

At last comes a movie to show me how it's really done.

I saw Multiplicity tonight. And so did I. Michael Keaton's return to the comedy genre from which he was originally spawned was both hilarious and wonderful, and I heartily recommend it to any who are in need of a good laugh.

And this isn't a review born out of a good mood. I saw this thing alone, tired after a long day, and I accidentally ate a movie house hot dog before the picture. All very bad things.

But the movie shone through. Mostly because of Michael Keaton's magnificent performances. He was straight out of Mr. Mom, fresh, vibrant, and witty, like a fine wine or block of particularly good cheese.

Speaking of Mr. Mom, has anybody noticed that in Multiplicity he's got kids the same age as he had in Mr. Mom, a movie he did while 10 years younger? What's wrong, Keaton's kids don't age? Just a thought.

The star of this movie, after Keaton, Keaton, Keaton and Keaton are the effects which make it possible for Keaton, Keaton, Keaton and Keaton to be on screen at the same time. They are almost seamless. Only once did I remember that they were effects, and not some identical brothers he's been hiding away for twenty years. Unless that's the big secret. They say he spent as much as five weeks shooting this picture alone. Maybe he wasn't changing clothes, maybe his twins were finally getting some work. You ever notice how you never see Keaton in the same room as himself? Makes you think.

The story, for those who think a movie about clones needs a story, is that Keaton wants more me time in his life, so he makes some clones to basically be his slaves. Now first off I can't support the idea that we're allowed to turn our clones into slaves, that path just leads to riots and revolts. Aside from that however, the concept is solid.

Actually, the biggest problem in the script is that they want us to believe that there are two, three and four Keatons running around town for something like three or four months and no one ever notices. Please, I run into ex girlfriends at the grocery store, you don't think people would bump into the wrong Keaton at the wrong time?

Even so, this movie is flat out funny. I laughed out loud and into my neighbor's coke a number of times. The scenes with all four Keatons are priceless, and any scene with the fourth one is a knee-jerker.

I have no idea what a knee-jerker is. I just like to use new words whenever possible.

Harold Ramis, the wonderful director of Groundhog Day, hits another home run and I'm starting to really look forward to his movies. He's come a long way from Igon, and I for one am proud. Actually I feel especially close to Harold because I too have really bad hair.

Andie McDowell makes another appearance as a total babe who lets things happen around her. She's good at reacting, and she's wonderful to look at. Plus her hair reminds me of an girl I once dated, so I like her.

The only other thing of particular note is the opening titles, which for some reason really caught my eye as being really cool and snappy. Not that the titles should ever have an effect on whether or not a movie is any good, but somebody is out there putting these things together, and I just wanted to give him a little credit.

Buddy, this Bud's for you.

All told, Multiplicity clones up 4 1/4 Babylons, one for each Keaton plus a little something extra for Harold.

Congrats baby, don't spend them all in one place.

Self-Made Note: (scribbled on a moist cocktail napkin)

Went entire weekend. Didn't see Kazaam. Still alive. More later