Fear. Horror. The memories of past terror.

These thoughts and others entered my mind as I prepared for Scream 3.

Was I preparing my timid self for a scare-fest? No, I was preparing myself for a sequel to a sequel.

The third movie of almost every trilogy is the worst. Return of the Jedi was worse than Empire or Star Wars. Godfather III was worse than the first two Godfathers. Superman 3 and Jaws 3 were the worst part of those trilogies. (It's amazing how much happier you become when you pretend that neither Superman nor Jaws had a fourth movie.)

So the big question: Does part 3 suck? The answer: No. Actually, it's pretty darned cool.

Scream 3 picks up the story a few years after Scream 2. Neve Campbell is off being a recluse as production of Stab 3 is underway. Remember, Stab was the film shown in Scream 2 based on the events depicted in Scream, so Stab 3 is the sequel to the sequel and is based on.. uhm.. is based on Hollywood's desire to make a lot of money. Naturally, the funky-masked killer (who has been killed a total four times in the previous 2 movies) is back, and he (or she) starts offing the actors in the production.

And the bloodshed begins.

Fans of the first two Screams will like part 3. In fact, they've already seen it, and are just reading to see if I give away the ending. Everyone who thinks horror movies are evil and the cause of everything that's wrong in the world will hate this movie, but they've already made their decisions and are headed to the video store to rent the Barney movie.

I have to admit, I used to hate horror films. And to an extent, I still do. They scare me. The world is scary enough, why do I need to spend good money to make two hours of my life even more fearful? It took me a long time to see the first Scream. I only saw it, in the end, because a friend of mine called me a big wuss. But I loved it. And then I loved Scream 2. And I really like Scream 3.

There's more inane pop-culture references than a game of You Don't Know Jack, the movie constantly winks at itself, and the guest stars! Seems like just about everyone wanted to stop by and wave hello in this one. My favorite is Carrie Fisher, who plays an ex-starlet still bitter about not having been cast in Star Wars.

Will you enjoy Scream 3 if you've never seen the Scream movies? Well, yeah, but you might not get all the jokes. Besides, if you're up for seeing Scream 3, then you'll love the first two, and you should rent them and bring yourself up to speed on the series.

In the end, Scream 3 may not be 3 times as scary as Scream or Scream 2 (actually, it should be 3 times as scary as #1, but only 1 1/2 times as scary as #2, right?) but it is fun. I jumped. I laughed. I cringed. I enjoyed myself. There have been a lot of recent movies that tried to capitalize on the teen-scream genre; it's nice to get another worthy installment of the series that started the rebirth in the first place.

Scream 3 gets 3 4/5 Babylons. But they're especially scary babylons. Boo!


Editor's Note:

In the end, the SMC might not be 3 times as inane as Rex Reed or Roger Ebert (actually, he should be 3 times as inane as the gay one, but only 1 1/2 as inane as the fat one, right?), but he is an ass. My resume is on Monsterboard.com.


Scream 3
Rated: R
Directed By: Wes Craven
Starring: Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, David Arquette, Parker Posey, Jenny McCarthy, Lance Henriksen and the maniac in the mask.