The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features


The Shutupicrat

Hey! Political pundits! There's a hot new ideology making its way through Internet chat rooms and discussion groups! Meet the Shutupicrat!

He's a liberal!

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"Those KKK rednecks should just shut up and go back to fucking their cousins."

 

He's a conservative!

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"If black people can't get seated at Denny's they should quit whining and go to some other restaurant."

 

He's a libertarian!

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"I'm tired of screechy parents trying to ban video games just because their own stupid brats are mental cases."

 

He's an authoritarian!

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"If protesters don't want to get beat up by the police, they should stick to protesting in their own living rooms."

 

He has keen insights into the global scene!

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"Why aren't all our enemies dead yet?"

 

But through it all, he dreams of making the world a better place.

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"I just want to download topless supermodel pictures in peace, dammit."

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