by David Neilsen

Aerospace Engineer Steven Kilston, a man who has far too much time on his hands, has come forward with plans for an interstellar spacecraft that will take five centuries to build, and will eventually carry one million people on a ten thousand year journey.

Not one to shy away from hot new trends, we at Brunching would like to humbly suggest some 500 year-long projects of our own. If mankind is going to focus on one project for fifteen generations, we think it should have a more immediate impact to the world upon completion.

Project: Drain-a-Lake

What we do:

Spend 500 years draining a major lake, like Lake Tahoe or Lake Eire or some less-vacationed lake in Africa.

Why we do this:

We'll probably find out all kinds of cool things about the fragile eco-systems of the lake as we destroy it. Also, because we can.

Project: Moon-Model

What we do:

Why we do this:

To better study the moon, and what makes it tick. We'll be able to accurately map the moon, both the side we know, and the 'Dark Side,' which is where the alien overlords hang out. Plus, think of the ticket sales to the theme park that would sprout up around it! We're talking marketing heaven!

Project: Starbucks

What we do:

Make sure that there is at least one Starbucks Coffee for every five people on the planet. Right now, there are entire city blocks that are going without their much-needed coffee hang-out. We should start a 500-year plan of rectifying this tragedy.

Why we do this:

Caffeine.

Project: Big Ladder

What we do:

Build a really tall ladder that goes from the Earth to the orbiting International Space Station.

Why we do this:

People are always going off about how each flight of the Space Shuttle costs $500 million. This is just one great way to cut that cost down. Instead of having to organize a launch every time something needs to be done up there, we can just send a PA up the ladder. No biggie.

Project: God

What we do:

Get the heads of every major religion and most of the minor ones, to live together for 500 years debating the existence of their gods.

Why we do this:

After 500 years without any actual weapons, hopefully they'll come to a group decision and suddenly there won't be any need for war, hatred, injustice, persecution, etc.