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by Matt Atchity
Hey! Yeah, you! Do enjoy thrill rides? Of course you do! But are
you bored with the big, wooden roller coasters? Do the steel stand-up
coasters make you yawn? Do the modern motion simulators simply rock
you to sleep? If you've answered "yes" to any of these questions,
than you need to take a ride on the biggest, baddest, thrill ride of
them all: Your Mom!
But before riding Your Mom, you'll need to know the following:
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Your Mom is a wild, turbulent ride. Therefore, expectant mothers or
people with heart conditions or lower back problems should not ride
Your Mom.
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You must be a least 48 inches tall to ride Your Mom.
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Please watch you step while entering Your Mom.
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Keep your arms and legs inside Your Mom at all times, and please
remain seated while Your Mom is in motion.
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There is no smoking on Your Mom.
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While riding Your Mom, feel free to take as many pictures as you'd
like, as long as they are not for commercial use.
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There is currently a 45-minute wait to ride Your Mom.
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