The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features

Everyone hates Jar Jar Binks. We here at Brunching hate him as much as anyone else. Perhaps more so. But knowing that George Lucas is a brilliant visionary who has created a story filled with layers upon layers upon layers, we decided to take a closer look at this hated Gungan. We came up with a shattering truth.

Fact #1

Jar Jar stands just a little taller than Obi-Wan, a little shorter than Qui-Gon. Meaning he's of humanoid size and shape. Why is this? Most other alien races we have come across are vastly different in size from humans. Jawas, Ewoks and Yoda are all much smaller than Man. Wookies and Jabba the Hut much larger. Most of the other aliens are minor, unimportant characters. So why is Jar Jar different? Why is he man-sized? Why indeed.

[ Jar Jar ]

Fact #2

Jar Jar is a proud warrior from a warrior race. He single handedly destroys a hover-tank, and manages to cause a volley of blue goo-balls to attack the enemy, causing havoc. Also, when at a loss, he uses the dead arm of a battle droid and is able to attack with deadly aim by stomping his foot about. This guy is violent, and he is good.

[ Gungans ]

Fact #3

George Lucas is brilliant. He has every intention of keeping this hated character in his series, has even said that Jar Jar has a large role in Episode 2. But if you put two and two together, you see that he's not telling everything like it is. He has an evil surprise in store for everyone.

[ Lucas ]


Jar Jar Binks is Boba Fett.

It's so obvious. We all know that we're supposed to see a host of "Bobas" in the next episode. What happens is this: Jar Jar, angered at the way his "friends" abuse and ridicule him, turns to the dark side, gets some minor facial reconstruction, dons the armor that he'll pick up on a battlefield in Episode 2, and voila! Lucas's most hated character becomes his most beloved.

The Truth hurts, doesn't it?

[ Jar Jar and Boba ]
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